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The Wall That Is Not There

Dear Richard –

Sitting here with my cuppa Earl Grey tea I find myself reflecting on a very powerful dream that I had several years ago.  I call it powerful because it is still very clear to this day, and in fact is quite relevant right now as I find myself feeling that I am “up against a wall” and there is no room to see what is beyond it.

First my dream.  This dream came at a time when I was struggling to “find my way” to what in life would bring me joy and fulfillment.  I was traveling on a path to a place of “higher learning” and was one of many in a line walking along a dirt path through forest.

All of a sudden the path ended and a clearing was before us, but also a ledge with a steep cliff side below.  All of my attention was drawn to this quite treacherous abyss and as I looked over it I saw others attempting to climb or rappel down the cliff using all kinds of gear.  There was also a very narrow rock path that serpentined it’s way down, but as I watched these people they seemed to be struggling as well.

Now my decision had to be made as to how I was going to get down there in order to get to my destination.  I stood there and closed my eyes and asked for guidance.  As I did that a very low whisper coming from the vicinity of my heart said, “Look to your left”.

My eyes opened and I looked to my left (my feminine side).  There was a path that had appeared – or it was there all along, but I hadn’t been expanding  my vision into possibility.  As I traced the path with my eyes to my surprise I saw the “place of higher learning” was not far on this easy downward slopping road.  No struggle was necessary.  Simply a stroll to my “destination” – to awareness.

This dream sticks with me because it continues to provide the very clear guidance that I need when I seem to be stuck – up against a wall that feels immovable!

Whether cliff or wall they both represent to me the illusion that something is preventing me from moving forward.  That “something” certainly requires a lot of struggle, effort, and risk taking as well.  Something I need to conquer or dismantle in order to get past it or to the other side.

This “wall” for me right now is the seeming lack of not having streams of income flowing in to support me while I am busy in the creations stages.   I have to admit that my mind took me on one of those very scary roller coaster rides over the last couple of days, and the emotions that go with that were certainly felt as I looked at my bank balance!  I even caught myself thinking about applying for jobs!  But the difference this time around was that I could witness what my mind was doing and begin to detach from the feeling of “no room to move”.

When I found myself working with the texture, thickness, and architecture of this wall that I seemed to be pushing against it hit me that I needed to stop pushing….because there was no wall at all.  No wall blocking me from the unlimited resources and creative ideas that are there for me as close as my next breath.  It was only a construct of fear and scarcity.  It was only an illusion.  It was only that I had fallen out of trust.

Now I have decided that if my mind tries this little trick again I will simply put my hands up in the air on that roller coaster ride and laugh all the way down.  Do you think that will deconstruct the illusions??

With Love,