De-stressing Any Situation: Letting Go Of The Rope

Dear Gaye,

Firstly, what a perfect dream to receive! As you know, I do a lot of work with/in the alpha-brainwave, which is the bandwidth within which all dreams take place. I believe that we can create through our dreams as much as we can learn from them. But let’s move on to the main issue here, which is one that is so common for all of us: resisting a situation.

Here’s a quote from your last post that sums it up:

I could choose to struggle or I could ask for help and not struggle. But was that really the issue here? What was more at stake was an attachment to being the one that could pull this off and save some money. The attachment was causing the struggle in the first place.

Bingo! That last line is a key for us all. Here’s why:

One of the guidelines in our course Natural Wealth, the New and Updated Instruction Manual to the Great Game of Life, is the Law of Non-Resistance. This law teaches us to leave behind any attachment to outcome. This is a really important step in our quest for wealth in all its forms, especially health and peace of mind.

The Law of Non-Resistance reminds us that to be truly successful we must learn to be as non-resistant as the newest of non-stick saucepans!

Getting attached to an outcome means that we run the risk of disappointment or frustration when the outcome is different to the one we have gotten attached to. This invariably leads to anger and stress. And stress is the biggest creator of heart disease. So, it’s really important to figure this one out.

Being attached to an outcome really means that we’re trying to push things a certain way. On some level we’re saying: “This is the way it has to be!” That’s an ego-driven thought, which is not going to get us far on the board of the Great Game of Life.

One of my favorite films is The Truman Show. I like it for plenty of reasons (the soundtrack being one of them!) but mostly because it’s such a good analogy of how things are for us as we shake off the methods that we were taught at school and start playing the Great Game instead.

It’s always the same cycle: initial denial, followed by frustration, followed by anger, followed by acceptance. One of the most haunting yet beautiful scenes in any film is right towards the end, when Jim Carrey’s boat rips into the painted scenery that circumscribes his fake world. There’s no going back after that: no denial possible. He can’t resist the truth any longer.

The funny thing is, when we choose to stop struggling against something (and it IS a choice) life becomes a whole load easier. It was only when you detached yourself from the outcome you thought you wanted that another outcome presented itself: an easy outcome with no stress!

The trick is to do this all the time. But how?

Well, one way is to throw your hands in the air and say out loud: “OK! Your way, not my way!” That’s the simplest way I know of handing a situation over to the Divine/Infinite Intelligence. “God’s way, not my way” is fine too: whatever it takes to detach yourself from a projected outcome, to remove ego from the equation.

Another way is to remind yourself that it’s only when we resist something that it can have an adverse affect on us. That’s because resistance is always born of fear (in this case the fear of not having the money to pay someone else to do the task in hand) and acting through fear can only ever have a detrimental affect.

Think about it in terms of the human body and health. When our systems are operating smoothly, we are healthy. Blood pumps consistently from the heart, zooming out through our arteries and back in through our veins. At the same time, electricity moves seamlessly through each cell. So does magnetic current. There is no resistance in the system. When we’re healthy, we are literally “going with the flow”.

It’s only when something comes along to stop this seamless flow (usually a thought-based reaction) that we become dis-eased. The flow is broken and a malfunction occurs. Resistance is the cause of all physical ailments. It’s the cause of all anger and frustration too.

Knowing this is all very well when we’re calm, but how do we translate this knowledge to taking action on a daily basis? What if we’re standing in the queue at Walmart and it’s not moving? We’re running late for a meeting and we can feel the blood pressure begin to rise? What if we’re driving the kids to school and they’re screaming and shouting in the back and we feel the urge to shout at them to “Shut UP!”? What if someone we love says something that really hurts us and we instantly feel angry?

What do we do to make sure we don’t resist these sorts of situations on a moment by moment basis?

The first thing we can do is accept that we have a choice: to react or not to. That puts the power back in our hands. The second thing is to find an image that really works for us: a shortcut to de-stress away from distress.

Here’s something I’ve found useful. See these moments of potential stress as a game of tug-of-war. You are holding one end of the rope and whoever or whatever is causing you frustration is holding the other. If you pull on the end of the rope, that someone/thing will pull back. The harder you pull, the harder they’ll pull too. Only when you let go of the rope, when you stop resisting, does the person/situation that has been causing problems lose its hold over you. There’s nothing for them to pull against, so they fall away. Easily.

So, if “You’re way, not my way!” doesn’t do it for you, try saying out loud: “I’m letting go of this rope!” In your mind see yourself literally holding on to that rope. See who or what is at the other end. Then just toss your end of the rope away. Do it with a smile and I guarantee you’ll feel better for it. The stress will escape from your body and a new outcome will be delivered to you: one that is far more rewarding…

Next time I’m going to talk a little more about this, because it’s such an important part of enjoying The Great Game of Life, but for now, have a great weekend!

Love and best wishes,



About Gaye Abbott

NATURAL PASSAGES CONSULTING Inspiring New Possibilities, Living From the Heart of Life While Co-creating Well Being of Body, Being, Heart and Planet….One Breath At A Time. Gaye Abbott, is a wild and free soul who just so happens to LOVE writing, playing with energy, ecstatic dance and free form movement, living and breathing in nature, her 3 sons and 3 grandchildren, communing with friends and global community, organic food and cooking, small and simple spaces to live within, a lack of material possessions....and laughter every single day! As a wise elder of 69 years she feels decades younger....and acts it too! Devoted to being of service to the Earth and all living beings Gaye seeks the peace of mind and openness of heart that provides the foundation for effective action in the world and her community. OTHER BLOGS BY GAYE ABBOTT: Give Us This Day Our Daily Breath Preview, Reviews and purchase links can be found here:

Posted on September 24, 2011, in Game of Life, Natural Wealth, Universal Laws of Wealth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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