Dear Richard -
Certainly “resistance is futile”, and a doorway to freedom at the same time. Freedom of accepting ourselves just as we are when we finally let go of that end of the rope we have been tugging on so strongly. Yes, at times we do win the tug-of-war (notice what that implies) , but I question at what cost??
Do we push and pull our way through our lives, or do we live them with self compassion and open our hearts to being the presence and power of love that we are? This latter does indeed involve releasing attachment, and sometimes you might be surprised at exactly what you are attached to!
I found this to be true only a few days ago. A very dear friend of mine wanted to practice a process with prospective coaching clients that she calls Discovery. In that elegant process I was led by direct questions to view my life from a place of attachment to what I “wanted to see happen”, and move into a place of non-attachment to “all that is possible”.
Let’s just say there was a very large crevasse between the two of them. On one side of the great divide was my small attached ego, and on the other side was that larger self that has been oh so patiently awaiting the nod of my head to come out and really play. A self that lives in a much larger container – no container at all actually. Are you getting a visual image of the two sides here? Well, I am and it is quite entertaining!
At one point in this discovery session my friend asked me to imagine what qualities this fuller self (the real me) felt, looked and sounded like. As she presented this question I felt my breath expand, my spine lengthen, a smile 
broke out, arms went up in the air with palms upwards, and my body started moving in delightful ways. I saw colors and sparks of light and felt energy moving throughout my body. A sound of celebration escaped without any resistance to holding it back. In fact, I was radiating such a wide and bright light that I almost had to put sun glasses on!
Within this process of embodying and recapturing the essence of who I am a question was asked by my friend. What is stopping you from Being this in your present life? The first thing that arose came with a huge impact. My mind, viewing all of this larger self “nonsense” said, “Once you have created the streams of money that you want and need to support activating all that you feel is your purpose in life, then you have the freedom to be fully yourself”.
Well, you can imagine what that essential nature self felt on the other side of the divide. She is not so highly evolved that an expletive doesn’t escape from her mouth from time to time…and one did in this moment. (Silently though so my friend did not hear it ) As this fully embodied bright self let go of her end of the rope from the small ego’s grasp she said, “all streams, whether money or other forms, will never flow easily into your life as long as you are holding back on your true nature”.
This is the surprise I was referring to earlier. I had no idea that I was attached to the belief that I needed to “do something” in order to have the flow of wealth in all areas of my life. Action is important, but in that moment I knew without any doubt that it is not only about taking action from the heart, but just as importantly from the fullest expression of yourself in any one moment. So, in other words no holding back – AT ALL!!
As my friend asked me for feedback on the session I was still smiling and incredibly grateful for the awareness of this stuck belief (resistance) that was holding me back. It made me remember a quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
A recognition that the small ego within us resides in a contracted and fear based place was not new to me. What was new is that I had this belief entrenched within me in the first place. So dear friend Richard, I am now letting go of the end of the rope and am completely willing to dive into the waters (and fire!) of simply being fully who I am in as many moments as possible. You may see a very bright light across the Atlantic ocean…and if you do, know that it is me.
With Love From A
Gaye
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